Stop Trying to Lead—Just Love
Some of you are desperate to lead when God has only called you to love. You’re pouring out, but you’re leaking. You’re speaking, but your soul is screaming. You’re giving, but you’re empty. And here’s the truth: You don’t have to be anybody’s leader in order to be a friend. You don’t need a platform to be faithful. You don’t need a following to be valuable in the Kingdom.
Somewhere along the way, we started believing that ministry meant leading something. That if we weren’t teaching, preaching, mentoring, or discipling, then we were doing nothing for the Kingdom. But let me tell you—Kingdom work is not about leading. It’s about loving. It’s not about pouring out while you’re broken. It’s about being whole so that when you do pour out, what comes from you is actually life and not your own pain disguised as service.
Leading While Broken
We’ve glamorized leadership in the Church. People feel like if they’re not in a leadership role, then they’re just sitting on the sidelines. But what happens when the person trying to pour out is running on fumes? What happens when the leader is actually the one who needs to be led?
You can only give what you have. And if all you have is pain, brokenness, exhaustion, and burnout, then that is what you’re passing on to others—whether you mean to or not. Some of you have convinced yourselves that because you’re still functioning, you’re fine. But functioning isn’t the same as thriving. Surviving isn’t the same as being whole.
Jesus didn’t call you to be a reservoir for people’s needs. He called you to be a son or daughter first. But when you don’t know how to sit with God, you’ll keep trying to serve Him from an empty place. And when you don’t know how to rest, you’ll think the only way to prove your worth is to stay busy.
Matthew 11:28-30 (NLT) says,
“Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”
Do you hear that? Rest is the command before responsibility. Sit before you serve. Heal before you help. Otherwise, you will always pour out in ways God never asked you to. And instead of being a blessing to people, you will become bitter toward them, resenting the very ones you were trying to serve because you never took time to be whole first.
Friendship Is the Assignment
You don’t need to lead a Bible study to encourage someone. You don’t need a title to walk with someone through their struggles. The greatest calling of a believer isn’t leadership—it’s love.
Jesus Himself modeled this. Yes, He was a leader. Yes, He had disciples. But more than that, He was a friend. He sat at tables. He had deep conversations. He walked with people. And when they were hurting, He didn’t give them a leadership manual—He gave them Himself.
John 15:12-15 (ESV) says,
“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends.”
The Church is filled with people who want to lead but don’t know how to simply be there for someone. But what if your greatest impact isn’t in leading a movement but in loving a person? What if the Kingdom grows not because you started a ministry but because you simply showed up for someone in need?
This is where we miss it. We think ministry is in the big moments—the crowds, the teachings, the numbers. But real Kingdom work happens in small moments—sitting with a friend in their grief, encouraging someone who feels lost, showing up when nobody else does. That is what changes lives.
Stop Trying to Fill a Role—Just Be Present
Some of you have convinced yourselves that the only way to be useful to God is to be in a leadership role. And because of that, you’ve become blind to the real ministry opportunities that are right in front of you. You don’t need to lead in order to love people. You don’t need to disciple someone to be a friend.
Think about Jesus. He didn’t rush into ministry at 18. He didn’t step into public teaching until He was 30. So what was He doing for 30 years? Living. Walking with people. Learning obedience. Being present. He wasn’t in a hurry to build a brand, start a movement, or prove Himself. He simply walked closely with the Father and let that shape everything else.
Some of you need to step away from leadership, not because you’re unqualified, but because you’re unhealthy. You can’t be everything for everyone while ignoring what God is trying to do in you. Ministry will always be there—your healing, however, is not optional.
You don’t have to have it all together to be used by God, but you do have to be whole to sustain the weight of pouring into others. Some of you are running on the fumes of your last encounter with God instead of staying connected to Him daily. And you wonder why you’re exhausted, bitter, and drained. You’re giving, but not receiving. You’re serving, but not sitting.
Heal First, Pour Later
There is nothing wrong with wanting to help others. But if you’re leading from a place of brokenness, you’re not actually helping—you’re just transferring your wounds to the people around you. Stop striving. Stop forcing yourself into roles you were never meant to carry. And stop thinking your value is tied to how much you do.
God didn’t ask you to be impressive. He didn’t ask you to be the busiest. He asked you to be faithful. And sometimes, being faithful looks like stepping back so you can heal. Sometimes, being faithful means learning to receive before you give.
Let God love you first. Let Him heal you. Let Him pour into you. And in time, when you’re whole again, you’ll have something real to give.
But for now? Just be a friend. Just love people. That’s more than enough.
If you feel led to partner with what God is doing through this ministry, we invite you to sow into this work as the Spirit leads. Your generosity helps us continue to share His love and truth with others. There is no obligation only an opportunity to join in what God is building. Thank you for considering being a part of this journey.
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